Socialisation - When Less is More

One of the words we see written most frequently when talking about puppies is ‘socialisation’ and how important it is for young dogs to be well socialised to grow into happy and confident adults. While socialisation is important, what some advice (and the ‘socialisation checklists’ that can often be found online) states is, sadly, a little problematic. The focus is often on having the puppy meet as many different people, dogs, animals, vehicles etc as possible. I have even seen it said that puppies should be handled by 100 different people before they are old enough to leave their mother and littermates at 8 weeks old.

While it can seem logical that more is better, pushing socialisation so far so fast runs a real risk of backfiring and causing the puppy to be scared by the experiences and struggle later in life. This can result in major issues for the dog and their people that can be difficult to live with and take a lot of time to work with to help the dog feel more comfortable and secure in their world. Instead of helping them to cope with the things they are going to see throughout their lives, trying too hard can make them more sensitive to things that bother them.

The first step in making sure we get it right for the young dogs that will come into our lives is understanding the difference between the poor socialisation advice and what our dogs need from us to equip them for life as a happy and confident adult.

Successful socialisation is not necessarily about interacting. Puppies do not need to be handled by every person they meet. They don’t need to say hi to every dog they see (this can cause other problems for them as they grow if they are always expecting to greet and play with other dogs). They don’t need to go up to every vehicle, person, animal etc.

Exposure to different things for the purposes of socialisation can take place from a distance. Calm and relaxed observation from a few feet away can be far more constructive and confidence giving for a small puppy than going nose to nose with someone or something potentially much bigger than they are. If they want to say hello and the other dog is good with dogs (and vaccinated, when puppies are too young to have completed their puppy vaccinations) or the person can be relied on to follow instructions and not scare the pup, that is fine. If in doubt, however, don’t force it and just stand or sit with the puppy at a comfortable distance and let them take it all in.

What we are aiming for with good socialisation is a puppy growing into a dog who is comfortable with new things, because they haven’t had any bad experiences with new things. If we can get them through their puppy days with a sense of optimism because the encounters they have had have been good, then we have done our jobs and given them the best possible chance of growing into happy adult dogs.

Don’t ever feel pressured into making your puppy interact with anyone or anything. By not pushing them to interact unless they show they are happy to, you are protecting their confidence and wellbeing and being the best caregiver that you can be for your puppy. Their most important need is to feel safe and secure, and it really is the most important thing we can do for them in those early stages.

If you would like to find out more about building and strengthening your relationships with your dogs, throughout their lives, my book Building the Bond looks at all aspects of our shared lives and how we can maintain and increase the level of connection between us. Ebooks are available through a range of stores at this link. Paperbacks and hardcovers are available via Amazon or to order from your favourite bookstore. The audio version can be found at Amazon, Audible and Apple Books.